Daitama
by Yukinaru Suzumi
Summary: Multiple planets? Kakashi blinked. Sasuke hnned. Sakura developed signs of madness at the mention of the words hospital and Tsunade in one sentence. Naruto laughed at them. "Alright! Let's go, 'ttebayo!"


Okay, okay, I know I have another story up, but this plot bunny was bugging me for hours to the point where I couldn't sleep, so here it is.

This is a Gintama and Naruto crossover. There are far too less of these, and most of them are about how Kakashi is like Gintoki or how they got switched or suffer memory loss. So here is my slightly unique one.

Summary: It was impossible, right? I mean, after giant ten-tailed tree demon things, a reincarnated shinobi who was once best friends with their village's first leader trying to set and infinite genjutsu by projecting his eye on the moon, a snake pedo shinobi with a taste for young boys' bodies who was formerly a shinobi of their village and an orange-haired wannabe self-proclaimed god-turned-friend who actually turned out to be a redhead, there was entire other planets out there? But hey, if all these people can exist, why not multiple planets?

**xxxxxxxxx**

Naruto blinked. And blinked again.

"Ano, baa-chan, did I hear right? Cos I swear you just said that there were other planets out there, and somehow, we've established contact with them."

Senju Tsunade, Fifth and current Hokage, massaged her forehead, brows furrowing as she sighed. "Yes, you heard right. There are other planets, and it seems like one of them has made contact with us. The planet is called Earth, and apparently, up until some time ago, the only people who lived on the planet were humans, and they were remarkably similar to us. However, we had some more technology. That is, up until other civilisations from across the galaxy decided to make Earth a popular tourist attraction of sorts, to the point where 'aliens', which is what we will refer to nonhumans as, have decided to settle down and make a life there. Now, the planet is incredibly advanced in technology, but many customs are similar to ours. The government has sent us a _greeting_ of sorts, and have invited us to go to their planet. Apparently, they will be sending a _spaceship_ which apparently is their mode of transport through space to us. The spaceship will be arriving in a week, during which we have to assemble a convoy of sorts to go to this new planet. This information has been shared between the five great nations, and we've agreed that the convoy will be made up of various shinobi from the continent."

"From Suna, the Kazekage and his siblings along with their jounin commander Baki. From Kiri, their Mizukage Terumi Mei and her two bodyguards, Ao and Chojuro of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. Kumo, I believe that Killer B and his brother A, the Raikage will go. Iwa has informed us that they will not be coming. And from Konoha, we will have your team and your sensei. I will not be going on this trip, as there is a high chance that a summoning seal will be set up there if we decide to go again. The seal will most likely be set up by you, seeing as you're one of the only remaining seal masters in the world. I also want you to set up a Hiraishin marker there, just in case of emergencies. Now, go and prepare for the trip. Come back here in exactly a week's time at 2 PM. Now get out of here, brat." To emphasise her intentions, she threw a paperweight at Naruto's head. _ I would have thrown an empty sake bottle if I had one, but Shizune took them all away. _She thought.

"Yes Granny Tsunade!"

"Why, you gaki…"

"Okay! Okay, I'm going, I'm going."

**XXXXXXXXX**

_At Naruto's apartment_

"Man, I get to see Octopops and Gaara again! And Sakura-chan and the teme and Kakashi-sensei will come as well! But a new planet? Oh well, I'll believe it when I see it. But first of all, to tell the news to my team!"

_At Sakura's flat_

"A mission? To another planet? Tsunade-shishou won't be coming right? Oh well, at least the hospital's in good hands."

"Er, Sakura-chan, you do realise that this is _Tsunade-baa-chan_ we're talking about here right?"

"… Yeah, come to think of it, maybe not such good hands. Hopefully Ino-pig, Shizune and Hinata will be able to rein her in a little at least."

_Sasuke's apartment_

"…"

"So? What do you have to say about the mission teme?"

"Hn."

"Why, you…"

"Hn."

"Oi! How dare you call me that!"

"Hn."

"Oh, well it's our team plus Kakashi, Gaara and his siblings, Octopops and his brother, the Mizukage and her two guards, and Iwa's not coming."

"Hn, hn hnnn."

"Oh sure. See ya, teme."

_Kakashi's apartment_

"Hmm? Mission? Sure, sure. I'll be there."

"_He didn't even listen to the details… that porno addict." _Naruto thought.

_A week later- Hokage Tower_

"Alright, brats, now that you're all her- no wait, where's Kakashi?"

"Yo, sorry I'm late, I was helping this little old lady cross the road and then I got lost on the road of- why are you all staring at me like that?"

"Kakashi…"

"He's actually…"

"On time?"

"…"

Silence ensued. Then, chaos descended.

"OH MY KAMI THE APOCAPLYSE IS COMING!"

"QUICK! TAKE SHELTER! THE JUDGEMENT OF GOD IS COMING UPON US!"

"THERE IS NO HOPE! THE WORLD IS ENDING! ENDING I SAY, ENDING! AND RAMEN WILL BE NO MORE, AND NEITHER WILL EVIL, AND NEITHER WILL PEACE, AND NEITHER WILL THOSE SHITTY BOOKS YOU CALL SMUT HALLELUIAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…."

"NARUTO SNAP OUT OF IT OH MY GOD HE'S GOING INTO SHOCK! THE DEFIBRILLATIORS, THE DEFIBRELLATORS! ARGH CPR WE NEED MEDICS HELP HELP HELP HELP!"

"YOU'RE THE MEDIC SAKURA OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WAIT IS IT JUST ME OR IS THE SKY OMINOUSLY DARKENING!"

"KAMI SAVE US!"

While this was happening, Kakashi was looking on with a half-lidded steel-gray eyes.

"… Meh." He started reading Icha Icha again. Not that it was any different from what he normally did.

"Saa, saa. The only reason I came on time was because the concept of other planets rather interests me."

"I call bullshit." His team chorused.

"Hmm?"

"I know for a fact that even if you were interested is something, you'd come 1 hour late, not three. You've never been on time."

"Ah, I see now… Yuki-nee bullied you into coming, right? And she probably threatened to burn that smut of yours if you didn't turn up.

"…. Ask no questions and I'll tell you no lies."

"Yep, you got whipped sensei."

"Hn."

"Whipped."

Tsunade cleared her throat. "Now that you've gotten over your temporary insaner-than-normal attitudes, can I please start a full debrief of your mission?"

Four pairs of eyes turned to her.

"First of all, has Naruto told you what I told him last week?"

"Yes Tsunade-sama. I believe that essentially, we are part of a convoy to another planet. Is that so?"

"Yes, that is correct Kakashi. I will now elaborate on what you are to do upon arrival. Moreover, there is a high chance that more trips to this planet will be made in the future, and whether or not this happens entirely depends on this trip. Do. Not. Screw. This. Up. Got it?"

"Yes, sir." The four snapped to attention.

"Good. Now this is what you'll do…"

**XXXXXXXXX**

_Meanwhile, on Earth_

"Shinpachi, the way to a man's heart is truly through Jump! Magazines! Just the other day, I made a shocking discovery."

"What was it, Gin-chan?"

"Well, you see-"

"Hey, what's going on? Gin-san, can you see?"

"Eh? No. Oh look over there! It's Zura and that penguin thing of his."

"Katsura-san!"

"Gintoki, my comrade-in-arms, have you any idea what is happening?"

"Eh? Oh, yo Zura." He flick a booger of his finger.

"IT'S KATSURA, NOT ZURA DAMNIT! Come, Elizabeth! We must get to the bottom of this phenomenon!"

"QUACK!"

What was this 'phenomenon', you ask?

Well…

A large crowd had gathered around a landing pad for a spaceship.

Said spaceship was a standard issue one for tourism.

The thing is, the spaceship had many peculiar protrusions from the inside. The metal was dented, as well as a very detailed contour of a person, who had appeared to be running away from something.

"…..idiot…..sit….damned ramen…."

"Gin-chan, you hear something?"

"Hmm? Eh, now that you think about it…"

"….bastard…rap….sunglassees….sand…broth…"

"Yeah, something is definitely making a noise."

"Mmmhmm."

"Yep."

"…..Damned… porn…kill….sword…..Anko…DAMNIT!"

"Is it just me or are those noises coming from the spaceship?"

"Spaceship."

"Sakonbu!"

"So what exactly is going on? Oji-san, do you know?"

A random old man in the crowd turned towards them.

"Aaa, it appears that a new race of Amanto was discovered some weeks ago. The government agreed to send a diplomatic spaceship to them, seeing as they hadn't heard of us before and had no way to come here. This is the spaceship, though I have no idea what caused it to be in this condition."

Ping!

Another dent appeared in the spaceship, this time narrow and quite sharp.

"Ah, it seems like they're preparing to disembark, time to try to indoctrinate them. ALL HAIL JASHIN!"

"Thank-you, Ojisan."

"PRAISE THE LORD JASHIN- Eh? Oh no worries, no worries young man. I SAID WORSHIP JASHIN YOU FUCKING IDIOTS! WORSHIP HIM!"

The door of the vessel opened. Smoke hissed out ominously. With an almightly thud, the door extended into a staircase.

Red eyes glinted through the smoke.

**XXXXXXXXX**

**Ahahaha sorry for the cliffhanger! This came to me randomly. Please, R&amp;R! Flames will be used to brew coffee which will induce fits of madness and insanity and creativeness that is insane.**

**Buhbye!**


End file.
